Situationships shouldn’t be a way to describe any type of relationship, but it’s 2017 and let’s face it, it happens.
Now, they can be extremely unhealthy, especially when one of you has already said, time and time again, that they’re not looking for a serious commitment… but what if the subject has never been brought up?
What if you’re worried that the talk of one day being in a relationship might scare them off? Especially if you’ve been in and out of each other lives a lot.
Relationships will never be black and white and the truth is, no matter how many relationship blogs you read here, the rules will never be universal.
Commitments, or even ‘it’s complicated’ commitments might go through some ups and downs before a relationship is formed… but it’s always important to realise when to walk away.
Below are 20 signs that show that the guy you’re kind-of dating might want to pursue an exclusive relationship.
1. You start going on more dates. -Some people forget that dates aren’t for show and to tweet about, ‘today was nice’ (if you know, then you know) they’re to create memories of amazing times.. if they’re happening regularly, this COULD be a good thing.
2. He communicates with you on social media and shows you off there too. – Let’s keep it ALL the way real, men who are not serious about a woman, will NEVER post about her.
3. He calls and checks up on you regularly. – We live in a time where people rather text than spend just a few minutes on the phone, but if he’s picking up the phone and making an effort to start a conversation, it shows that he’s creating time for you. Texting and calling are not synonymous with each other and will never produce the same type of intimacy.
4. The sex is more passionate.- The foreplay is longer, he communicates between the sheets and pays even better attention to what your body wants.
5. You argue less. – You’ve been back and forth before, and honestly at this stage, you know each other well enough to not say/do something to rile the other up.
6. He talks about wanting to travel with you. – Because, memories!
7. His actions matches his word. – He’s a doer, not a sayer.
8. His family and friends start making a real huge effort with you – For some guys, introducing you to their family and friends is a big step. He’s proud of you and wants those who are important to him to get to know you. However, when they make an effort with you, well, that’s a completely new ball game, because they’re recognising you as someone who’s a major part of their son, brother, cousin or friends life.
9. He becomes more affectionate.
10. He doesn’t flirt with other women on social media because he’s serious about you. – When your intention is to be in a relationship, of course your behaviour will change.
11. Your happiness matters to him. – If you’re happy, then chances are he is too and he’ll do whatever it takes for that to stay the same.
12. He supports your career and side hustles. – He’s rooting for you! .. and not like Tyra Banks.
13. He’s an even better listener.
14. You have a greater bond. – Your relationship may have been rocky in the past, but a new leaf has been turned and finally, you’ve created a better foundation where you’ve both developed a great bond together.
15. Your phone conversations are longer. – These aren’t just 5 minute conversations anymore..
16. He PDA’s occasionally.
17. He defends you, when you’re not there. – Others might share their opinions on the situationship or even your character especially negative ones. They probably don’t approve.. either way he’s making sure, they keep their thoughts to themselves and expresses how much he cares about you. A lot of people become an absolute different person, when surrounded by other people. They might put on a front and behave like you don’t mean much, a guy who’s cares will always talk about you in a positive light. He’ll defend you, no matter what… and if he doesn’t, well, you have a problem.
18. He opens up with you more. – Opening up to people you’re comfortable with or known for years isn’t easy for everyone, but imagine realising that someone has chosen YOU, to share parts of themselves with. This works both ways too. If you erratically find yourself giving parts of yourself away, because you’ve developed a closeness with a guy it may be because you trust them.
19. You notice he has stopped talking to past love interests.
20. He says he wants a relationship. – Yes, the only way to truly tell that the guy you’re kind-of-with wants a relationship is when he says it, even if this means, you having to ask.
If you can get naked with someone, surely, you can tell him how you feel?!
RIGHT?
If a full commitment isn’t what he’s after, that’s fine. Takes this opportunity to leave and not fake leave, because then that’s how the situationship cycle really begins.
Dear Situationship,
The truth is, I never wanted to commit. But we got closer and I got scared.
You deserve a guy who can give you what you want.
Love,
What Could Have Been.